Aging Parents: It's Not Always the Most Wonderful Time of Year

The holidays conjure up nostalgic images of food, fun, and fellowship. It's the time of year when people are spoiled and fêted by their loving families.

But for some aging parents the holidays can be a painful reminder of how isolated they are. As our lifestyles get busier and busier, it is not unusual to find family members who are separated by distance and time, specifically adult children. Research shows that one in five adult children live more than one hour away from their aging parents.

If your parents are in their 70s or older you may want to seize the holidays as an opportunity to take a closer look at their well-being. At first, aging parents may not want to burden their families so they do not tell them about the help they need. The holiday season can provide you with a chance to spend some quality time with them and observe their changing needs. For instance, mobility concerns, health condition and the onset of depression.
If you have determined that your parents do need some assistance and you can't be there for them physically on a regular basis, you can still be a good caregiver. In Canada, 85 per cent of adult children caring for a parent from afar report helping the parent in person once a month.

Registered nurse and director of Health and Wellness for We Care, Sue Kelly, has some useful advice for "care commuters" struggling with care giving responsibilities.

1. Assess the appropriate type of care that is needed.
Some of the many challenges associated with managing the care of an aging parent are coping with concerns over the safety of their home and not knowing where to begin when trying to put in safety measures. That's why home health services like We Care are a lifeline to many families across the country. Kelly recommends a thorough assessment of all past and present health concerns, current medications, fall risks, as well as their living environment. The goal should be to work with the client as a team and develop an appropriate plan of care.


2. Outsource a loving touch.
For families who are unable to provide regular physical contact with an aging parent, Kelly advises hiring a homemaker who would be responsible for bulk meal preparation, housekeeping, laundry, and grocery shopping. However, usually a companion is enough. Many aging parents are simply looking to have someone to play cards with, read with, talk to, or accompanying them on outings.


3. Paying for it all.
Depending on the type of support needed, paying for eldercare can be expensive. Fortunately, financial support is available through various government agencies, which, will vary from province to province. In some cases, your parents may also be eligible for extended health benefits that cover certain services. As well, veterans shouldn't forget about Veteran Affairs Canada as it is a very useful funding resource for those who qualify for it.

The following websites are helpful resources for seniors and caregivers:

• www.cra-arc.gc.ca/seniors/
This website provides information on available tax credits for seniors

• www.seniorsinfo.ca
Here you will find a listing of community resources available across the country

• www.seniors.gc.ca
This online resource lists community resources for seniors in each province

• www.servicecanada.gc.ca
Service Canada provides information on a number of government programs and services
available to seniors

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