Hotel Secrets Revealed: What the Front Desk Doesn't Want You to Know

If Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential exposed the seedy underbelly of the restaurant industry, then Jacob Tomsky's Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles and So-Called Hospitality does the same thing for the hotel industry.

A 10-year veteran of the hotel industry, Tomsky worked his way up from valet parker at a high-class hotel in New Orleans to the coveted position of front desk manager at a luxury New York hotel. It's an industry he very much fell into after he failed to translate his philosophy degree into a career. Now, he's exposing all the dirty little secrets of the hotel industry in the grand and relatively recent tradition of books like Waiter Rant, Hotel Babylon, Concierge Confidential and Cruise Confidential.

As the latest in a long line of disgruntled hospitality employee exposés, we wanted to find the best secrets and show you how you can carve a path to instant upgrades and complimentary service, while avoiding the valets doing donuts in the hotel parking lot with your car, or getting stuck in room 1212 in New York City, so you get stuck taking the local calls of guests who don't know how to dial out at all hours of the day and night.

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Tip Before You Give Up Your Car

In every other universe, it's customary to tip when the job is done, but do that when it comes to valet parking, and your car's just another victim in the valet's joyride that night. Don't worry, they won't crash it, but videos show them burning rubber and doing donuts in the hotel's underground parking, while the car's owner is none the wiser.

"The valet parker probably got hired last week, is probably getting fired next week and doesn't really care that much," Tomsky told 20/20's Chris Cuomo on a recent episode. "The valet's not making any money unless they get that dollar tip, so there's a focus on speed, but of course, when the car comes out, it's driven very slowly."

"Have You Met My Friends Benjamin, Grant and Jackson?"

According to Tomsky, slipping a $20 bill on top of your credit card when you put down the security deposit at the front desk will go a long way toward getting you that rare and coveted room upgrade. However, lose the attitude at those sliding doors because as Tomsky will tell you, "There's a thousand ways I can get back at you for something you probably don't even know you did."

Shockingly, it doesn't even have to be something you did to the employee: talk down to your wife in a way that offends their sensibilities and suddenly, you're persona non grata.

It even goes one step further. Michael Fazio, author of Concierge Confidential claims that cheap or rude guests are tracked on the staff computer. "We know people that have a record of complaining," he tells Cuomo. Oh, and don't think that record is limited to the one hotel where you made a scene last year. Unfortunately, that black mark follows you like a scarlet letter chain-wide. They even have a name for you, a PITA, and they're not talking about the Greek foldable sandwich, nope, instead you're forever labeled a "Pain In The Ass."

However, redeem yourself often enough with a little financial incentive and you could be well on your way to becoming what American hotel chains call an "F.O.B" or "Friend of Ben" -- Franklin, that is -- your password to instant room upgrades and marquee treatment.

Pressure to the People

Of course, there's always that independent-minded guest who thinks they can save a little money by doing everything themselves. Too bad the hotel staff already know that trick and will cut you off at the pass.

"Guilt and fear can be applied to you really easily," says Tomsky. "I would just say, 'The bellman's going to take you to your room,' a real declarative sentence that you can't really fight."

Most people give over their bills right there, but if you're one of the holdouts, the bellman has lingering down to a science. There's nothing like a guy hanging out in your room's doorway with an expectant look on their face to separate you from your cash, Tomsky confirms.

"Someone just stands a little too long and makes you a little too uncomfortable and then you reach for your wallet."

The Cost of Convenience

Most of us know this one intellectually, but hunger pangs in the middle of the night have us inevitably reaching for the contents of the hotel mini bar.

"Avoid the mini bar at all costs because there's always an up charge," Tomsky told Anderson Cooper," and he's not kidding: one little pack of instant gratification M&Ms can cost you $7.00, as much as they charge at the movie theatre.

He also tells guests to avoid the mini fridge delivery and resist the urge to call room service. Instead, he recommends ordering from local places nearby if you must.

The Early Evening Sweet Spot

Apparently, the best time to book a room is between five and seven in the evening. This is because, Tomsky says, that's when the check-in rush is over and the front desk staff aren't doing much, so you're likely to save a little money.

"It's also a good time to talk to us because that's when you become an individual," says Tomsky, and if you're memorable in a good way, this could set you up for future perks during your stay.

Friends with Benefits

Oh c'mon, get your head out of the gutter. We're talking about doing everything you can to befriend the front desk staff.

"It's an undervalued position and we have a lot of power," says Tomsky. "We're almost like the gods of instant karma. "We're making decisions based on rates and attitudes and little things like that. We can put you in a beautiful room and we can put you in a terrible room, so having a friend at the desk is always a good move."

It doesn't just start at check-in either, if you're booking or inquiring over the phone, take the extra time to research the front desk number to the actual property and don't just call the hotel chain's central booking line. It could payoff big time for you in the long run.

Who You Gonna Call? Nobody

Finally, Tomsky tells us to stay away from the room phone. "Never call long distance on a room phone because that's like a 200% markup," he says.

If you absolutely must make a long distance call, he recommends using your cell phone, or a calling card.